I love having meals with my colleagues.
More importantly, I love these people.
I happened to be exceedingly blessed with good working company. I am always entertained by a very funny cubbie (ie: cubicle) neighbour and am surrounded by many intelligent, witty and wise colleagues who truly possess a good heart.
Today, while chomping on some badly cooked food from the canteen, I am once again enlightened- this time on issues related to life and death.
You see, in between bites, my colleagues and I were discussing on the most efficient and painless way of committing suicide (disclaimer: we were really approaching the subject from an intellectual perspective). We brainstormed various ideas and discussed their feasibility, practicality and the science involved. Then, we considered euthanasia and how it would feel like to plot one's own death. Finally, despite varying viewpoints, we concurred that it's not the way that we die that is important but how we face death. I.E.: We gotta be ready for it.
Now, as if living is not hard enough- the living needs so much courage to press on in this mad mad world- we need to prep ourselves for death as well? Good Lord! May you strengthen our hearts! Really, if most of us can hardly pinpoint the reason for living, can we actually face death? Is it ever possible to face death without struggle? Are we all ready to embrace afterlife (or to some, simply nothingness)? My suspicion tells me that most of us are in reality nervous about death- even as we draw closer to it everyday.
My colleague, this wonderful and inspiring woman, offered me this perspective (and may I summarise) :
See life as a gift and not of your own. Life does not belong to us. We can decide what to do with our possessions. We can decide when to buy or throw things away. But life is not a thing. How can we say 'it's my life' when we neither have the right to decide our birth nor death? Hence, life is a gift. If bestowed upon me, I will take it as a treasure and use it well. If taken away, there's no loss as I merely return what was loaned to me.
At the end of lunch, I was inspired to see my life as a blessing. In a world where everything's gotta be about 'me', it's really refreshing to see oneself as something else besides the center of the universe.
o-lee-AN-der: A poisonous wildflower; one of the most adaptable plants available in the tropical and subtropical areas; a distinctive, beautiful, large flowering shrub; it thrives with little care.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Trinity of the Birthday Girl, Modern Woman and Subservient Wife
This is a fairy tale based on a real life account. Read into it however you like:
Once upon a time, a girl (who is a wife and also a modern woman) awaits for her birthday to arrive in two days' time- well, actually, it's not fair to say that she awaits for the day as birthdays are hardly days one would celebrate for as they signify erm, like an older age?- nonetheless, she decides to rub off that tiny bit of cynicism and embrace the notion of birthday celebration like any adolescent would.
In the living room one night, she watches TV with the husband.
"What are we doing on my birthday?" The wife asked innocuously.
"Hmm, nothing. You wanna go out? We can if you want." The husband's eyes fixated on the screen.
Darn men.
Wife pouted and glared dangerously in his direction. She mustered some form of half-hearted anger towards the man (as deep now, even she was not absolutely convinced of the need to celebrate) and said without emotions (which actually meant alot of emotions) that she was going to bathe.
In the bathroom, a myriad of thoughts flashed through her mind: you terrible men! sickening men! what's the point of marriage, marriage is the death of romance, I don't need a celebration from you and blah. That helplessness and anger soon gave birth to self-righteousness and a desire for independence.
Why be a subservient wife when you can be an independent woman? Why wait for men? Do it yourself!
So, in the midst of deciding which bath lotion she should use for the day, the Wife planned on the perfect birthday celebration which no one could wreck as she, and she alone, would be responsible for. It's decided- she would get herself a cake (from Canele or The Patisserie), flowers (hydrangea preferably), book a good restaurant and take the husband out instead.
That's the wonder of being a woman in the 21st century. That's the beauty of having financial independence. That's the power of feminism.
The wife stepped out of the bathroom afresh, both in mind and spirit.
She was about to announce the grand proposal to her husband on the same couch where she was first disappointed, when the husband looked up and uttered quite unexpectedly,"I actually planned a birthday surprise for you but I could see that you are disppointed by what I said. I think you cannot take it lah (ie: surprises), so I am telling you now that I have actually planned something on that day."
Oh.
At that moment, the wife blamed herself for spoiling the surprise and cursed the feminists and their good ideas under her breath.
Although that gesture made by the husband had effectively saved him from a domestic crisis and earned him an approving hug from the wife but nonetheless, deep within the woman, that revelation had introduced perplexities to her mind that will not go away till this day.
Are independence and strength necessarily positive traits that women should have?
One thing for sure though, the wife concluded that if she had been less of a modern woman and more of the subservient wife, birthdays would certainly be more delightful affairs.
Once upon a time, a girl (who is a wife and also a modern woman) awaits for her birthday to arrive in two days' time- well, actually, it's not fair to say that she awaits for the day as birthdays are hardly days one would celebrate for as they signify erm, like an older age?- nonetheless, she decides to rub off that tiny bit of cynicism and embrace the notion of birthday celebration like any adolescent would.
In the living room one night, she watches TV with the husband.
"What are we doing on my birthday?" The wife asked innocuously.
"Hmm, nothing. You wanna go out? We can if you want." The husband's eyes fixated on the screen.
Darn men.
Wife pouted and glared dangerously in his direction. She mustered some form of half-hearted anger towards the man (as deep now, even she was not absolutely convinced of the need to celebrate) and said without emotions (which actually meant alot of emotions) that she was going to bathe.
In the bathroom, a myriad of thoughts flashed through her mind: you terrible men! sickening men! what's the point of marriage, marriage is the death of romance, I don't need a celebration from you and blah. That helplessness and anger soon gave birth to self-righteousness and a desire for independence.
Why be a subservient wife when you can be an independent woman? Why wait for men? Do it yourself!
So, in the midst of deciding which bath lotion she should use for the day, the Wife planned on the perfect birthday celebration which no one could wreck as she, and she alone, would be responsible for. It's decided- she would get herself a cake (from Canele or The Patisserie), flowers (hydrangea preferably), book a good restaurant and take the husband out instead.
That's the wonder of being a woman in the 21st century. That's the beauty of having financial independence. That's the power of feminism.
The wife stepped out of the bathroom afresh, both in mind and spirit.
She was about to announce the grand proposal to her husband on the same couch where she was first disappointed, when the husband looked up and uttered quite unexpectedly,"I actually planned a birthday surprise for you but I could see that you are disppointed by what I said. I think you cannot take it lah (ie: surprises), so I am telling you now that I have actually planned something on that day."
Oh.
At that moment, the wife blamed herself for spoiling the surprise and cursed the feminists and their good ideas under her breath.
Although that gesture made by the husband had effectively saved him from a domestic crisis and earned him an approving hug from the wife but nonetheless, deep within the woman, that revelation had introduced perplexities to her mind that will not go away till this day.
Are independence and strength necessarily positive traits that women should have?
One thing for sure though, the wife concluded that if she had been less of a modern woman and more of the subservient wife, birthdays would certainly be more delightful affairs.